My hearts desire for you is to know Christ, and then grow in him.  Once you understand him you can understand how valuable you are to him. Based  on that, you can discover your strength found in him. I didn't discover these secrets till 46 years old. You can discover them today.

"Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom or the strong man glory in his strength or the rich man glory in his riches; But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understands and knoweth me..."

Jeremiah 9:24